Help Bex and Jess have a baby

Hello, we are Jess and Bex from the Coromandel, New Zealand - we will tell you our story.

Jess here, I will go first.

My fertility journey really started six years ago, when I began the assisted fertility process with my ex-husband. I've wanted to have children for as long as I can remember. Before I started trying to get pregnant there was never any doubt in my mind I would. I was born to be a mother. Even as the setbacks began I was characteristically optimistic. Years of endometriosis, a miscarriage, a massive infection in one fallopian tube and then an ectopic pregnancy in the other led to an operation to clear the endometriosis lesions. Six months later with no pregnancy, we qualified for government funded IVF. One month later we separated.

I put my baby dreams on hold. I had many adventures, learned a lot about myself, and wonderfully, met the amazing Rebecca. There was never any doubt for us; it was actually love at first sight! How lucky to have found each other - I would like to say this love is enough, but in truth, there is always the longing - for my baby I see in my dreams.

Holding on to hope has been the hardest thing. I can be optimistic about everything else, except the one thing I want more than anything else. Thank goodness for Rebecca is all I can say! She holds me strong, and through her love helps me hold on to my dreams.

And now here’s Rebecca.

On the second day I met Jess she told me something that had a profound impact on me.

She said “no matter what's happening in my life, when I turn 34, partner or not, I am going to have a baby”. That was two and a half years ago. I loved her in that moment, as I do today and feel truly blessed to be the woman embarking on the journey with her.

So far, it has been an emotional roller coaster with a lot of hard news to hear along with some good. The hardest was when we first sat down with the doctor and were told that due to the state of Jess’s eggs, we wouldn't be eligible for government funded IVF.

Together, we are determined to do all that it takes to have a family. We are lucky to have other options available to us. However, IVF is our only chance for Jess to conceive.

We’re also very lucky to have a wonderful friend who will donate sperm, with already two beautiful children of his own and a very special partner, he feels like he’s giving a gift to us - of which we are deeply grateful.

Jess will finish the story for you.

So here we are. I have realised through this process that I want to have MY baby. My baby that is my parents’, grandparents’, brother’s, aunts' baby. I want to be related to my grandchildren. This is important to me. And to do this IVF is the only hope. A small one at that, but we have to try.

Asking for help is hard for me, but I am doing it. We are not wealthy people. I don’t wish I was, except for now! We live a quiet simple happy life with only one thing missing. So I am asking for a little help from my friends.

Thank you for all the love and support you always give me (us).