Since the day they got married, 14 years ago, I have watched my younger sister Nicki and her husband Tony struggle with infertility. Babies would be born all around her and, while heart- broken for her own inability to conceive, Nicki was always the first to offer congratulations and the first to offer to babysit. Over the years all sorts of handme downs were treasured and kept for the day, one day, when they would become parents to their own bundle of joy. Favourite books and toys she couldnft bear to part with, the cutest baby clothes and even the cloth nappies were regularly washed and packed away in readiness. A second set of parents to my own two boys, now aged 20 and 18 and the best aunty and uncle ever to our other sisters 11 and 10 year old daughters, Nicki and Tony have always been the fun loving, practical, patient and understanding people that all good parents should be. Finally, month after month, year after year of heartbreak they realized that it was not to be, content with the wee house at Foxton Beach, their two dogs and cat Nicki gave all her treasures away for other babies to enjoy. Imagine my shock when at aged 40, I discovered I was pregnant. The father and I were in a complicated relationship and knew we could not offer a child a steady and stable environment and without question we knew what to do. I arrived at Nicki and Tonyfs house that day, not knowing what their reaction would be but hoping beyond hope that they would both feel exactly the same way we did. Poor Nicki, Tony was out in the shed, when I told her I had been to the doctor and had news. It did not occur to me at the time that she would instantly think the worst, our 59 year old mother had suddenly passed away only 9 months before and we were all still pretty raw from the loss. I made her sit down and announced I was pregnant, she burst into tears (with relief she told me later as she thought I was about to tell her I was dying!) gWhat are you going to doh she enquired, gDo you wanna have a babyh I asked. gOh and Ifm 8 months pregnant g I announced, gWhat, holey hell, let me go get Tonyh she exclaimed as she rushed out the door. I had suspected I was pregnant but was somewhat in denial, and when I had the pregnancy confirmed was totally shocked at how far along I was. With that it was decided, Nicki and Tony had a month to prepare for the arrival of their new baby boy, it actually ended up being only 9 days and he was born early! Zander was born on the 24th of April 2013. He was handed straight to Nicki at birth, and they met their son for the first time. He was beautiful, they were beautiful, and the joy was unmeasureable. While he did not grow in her tummy he grew in her heart and for Nicki and Tony their family was finally complete and their lives finally fulfilled. It has been a struggle financially, dropping to one wage with no time to pay debts, save money, buy the necessary baby goodies but they have managed, and together with the support of family and friends, are providing Zander with a wonderful life. Last Thursday, the 18th of February, a day after their 14th wedding anniversary and the day before Nickifs 37th birthday, she was taken to Palmerston North hospital by ambulance, a perforated bowel was leaking into her abdomen rushed into life saving surgery that night we were all in total shock and disbelief. It was to get worse. Diagnosed with a massive tumor on her cervix and bowel, cancer, we are all devastated, shocked, angry at the unfairness, heartbroken and at a total loss. All except Nicki. She is strong, and determined she will not give up, or give in and she will beat this, she is finally a Mum and she will not give that up for anything. For 2 weeks now she has been in hospital, recovering from massive surgery. Brief visits with her wee boy are a joy to witness. We are not a wealthy family, Tony is still going to work, in Levin, and Zander is being looked after by family during the day in Foxton Beach. Money still has to come in, the bills still have to be paid, formula purchased, petrol put in the car for hospital visits. Any financial help to ease the stress at this most stressful time would be much appreciated.
